I Can’t Stop Jacking Off to Golfer Justin Thomas

Should the No. 3 golfer have called himself a "faggot" on a hot mic? No, but that doesn't mean gays into dirty talk aren't getting off to it.

You may not know this, but at some point in the last decade golfers got hot. And young. (Maybe it was seeing all the women banging down Tiger Woods’ door that got them interested.) And one of the hottest is also one of the best: Justin Thomas.

Other than Chris Meloni, one is hard pressed to think of another man who rocks a pair of khakis quite like Thomas. And then, he did the very bad thing that he did January 9, after missing an easy shot during the Sentry Tournament of Champions in Hawaii. He called himself a faggot.

Yes, I am aware that it not is politically correct to be a gay man who gets horny when a straight man uses homophobic language. But the dick wants what the dick wants, and sometimes your dick wants a hot guy saying “faggot” in a disgusted tone of voice.

That he was directing it at himself out of some vestigial, training-by-terror from a coach in his past—and that he profusely apologized immediately after—is moot because watching him and hearing that dirty talk is enough to get the juices flowing. He’s so good at what he does, not a weak horny bitch who craves dick. Is it any wonder he mutters “faggot” in that tone when he thinks about you? If given the chance, he’d probably be more than happy to use your mouth and ass to get off, then walk away, leaving you covered in cum and satisfied that you’d just been used by a real man, still jerking your dick thinking about him. What? You know you’re not allowed to kink shame, right?

And people think golf is boring.

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