For the messy friend: A mattress protector.
We spend a paycheck on a great mattress, and then after one sloppy night (or a shaky hand with a morning cup of coffee) we have to live with the memory of our regrets every time we change the sheets. Not with a protector! Think of it as a condom for your Casper.
For the tidy friend: A sex blanket
People swear by adding an easily washable top layer to the bedding for getting down and dirty—and then getting clean with just a quick wash cycle.
For the pandemic-frenzied friend: A lube dispenser
Handless dispensers are all the rage, and finally back in stock! Why should Purell be the only liquid upgrading its home from a plastic bottle to something a little more chic?
For the PrEP-y friend: A Jonathan Adler pill bottle
What could be gayer than a Jonathan Adler pill bottle? Keeping your PrEP in it.
For the thirsty friend: An Underwear Expert subscription
Give the gift of wanting more for your pal this V-Day by sending him an Underwear Expert subscription box, so he can move on from those same damn Charlie by MZ briefs he keeps ‘gramming.
For the horny friend: A porn site subscription
Personally, we’re big fans of Carnal Media’s sites. Just Venmo the fee, and make the memo fun and sassy!
For the intimidatingly stylish friend: Monogrammed cum rags
Bonus points if you add “Jr.” to the monogram as a reminder of the babies that could have been each time he wipes up after cumming.
For the melancholic friend: An IOU for Adele’s new album, handwritten on vellum
The IOU shows you know his pain; the vellum shows you care.
For the friend who really deserves it: A blow job
When in doubt, get on your knees.