Putting Your Best Face Forward—And Into an Ass

Rimming is hands down one of the most intimate, satisfying, and pleasurable sex activities you can perform with another human. There is something so innately erotic and bonding about sticking your tongue in the hole of the man you love, or the man you just met on the way home from work.

Analingus might seem straightforward: Your lover spreads his beautiful butt cheeks, and you dive in nose first to suck, tongue fuck, and slather away at the tight little red, pink, or purple knot of heaven. But it’s so much more than tongue in ass; it is a bonafide art form. This is my particular favorite way to eat ass. Hopefully, it will inspire you to get into ass munching a bit more.

Let’s start at the beginning. You know you are going to have sex with a hottie, your husband or the guy next door, or domtop91, or whoever, so you want to give the back garden a little rinse and check that he/she/it is ready for feasting. If it’s strictly a rim affair, then a regular shower is fine. If you also plan to shave, trim, tidy the area, then plan time for that. A rushed anal shave or wax can escalate and even the tiniest of cuts or pricks will mean you can’t fully enjoy the ass-mouth suck fest in your imminent future. Chat to your favorite ass eater and discuss his hair preferences. Personally I like to shave my boyfriend and then rim him until he’s on the edge of cumming, then gobble his cock while finger fucking him to climax, but back to the guide.

OK, so you rinsed and/or manscaped the peaches. Next up you need to be honest with yourself. Are you going to sit on a tongue and be satisfied with that? Or are you going to go from butt munching to full-on cock in ass?

Important to note: Fucking is great, but devoting time to just a blow job or rimming and skipping penetration comes with its own glorious rewards and sensational highlights. Rimming the man you love or the man recently met on the subway is a fantastic act and can be enjoyed as the sole hole event if the chemistry is just right.

If you said to yourself, “Jack or Jeff or what’s his name is gonna eat my hole and then I’m gonna ride his dick til I drain him dry,” then you may as well douche. If, however, you are only ordering a lick-ass moment, then a quick rub-a-dub is sufficient.

Let’s talk about the various ways to serve your butt to your lover. Everything is ready to go. You spread your cheeks and the tongue has landed. Let’s say you started in doggy and your man is pummeling your hole with his hard wet tongue. Show him you are into it by gently but firmly pushing your ass back onto his tongue and saying, “Oh yeah,” then moaning in harmony with the tongue. The guy sticking his tongue in you should moan too, as the vibrations enhance the sensations.

Let’s pretend I’m doing this with you right now. I have you doggy, I’m eating your ass, you are pushing back and moaning, I’m leaning in and moaning, we are in a good rhythm. Now I nose around the area, I’m wiping my entire face in your ass, your anus washes over my nose, eyes, forehead, and back down onto my chin. My beard is fluffing your crack and it’s buffing your puckered hole. We get excited and it’s high energy and fun, but now we slow down. I stick the tip of my thumb a a quarter of an inch in your anus and continue to eat, lick, and suck while I shallow thumb fuck you and stimulate your prostate.

At this point, it’s all one way. I’m pleasing you and you are being pleasured, but our faces have yet to meet. You flip over, look at me and spread your legs high and wide. I spit on your beautiful ass and get back to gobbling and noshing on the good stuff. The positions can change, and the ass eating can increase and decrease intensity as the mood and feelings shift. Ultimately we will end up cuddling, my face covered in your delicious ass juice, and you will kiss me deeply as you smell your own ass on my face. I’ll still shallow finger you a bit as we lay intertwined and sucking juices from each other until we fall asleep.  

There are so many ways to eat ass, and so much pleasure and joy to be derived from this intimate act. If you are shy about doing it or carry any shame, there are many ways to overcome these obstacles. For both shyness and shame, the best way forward is to talk to someone you trust, and get more used to the idea as a delicious sex act. Start by doing it in the shower or after a bath. Make sure you can stop and talk at any moment if you get anxious or begin to worry about anything. The sexiest words in the bedroom are, “no” and “Can we stop?” Saying these is speaking your truth and your lover’s automatic response should always be, “I hear your no and I fully accept it, will we do something else or order Uber eats?” and, “Of course we can stop. Let’s talk about it so I can do it better next time.”

If your lovers say anything less than supportive and accepting, toss those suckers out and send me an email, I’ll be right over to eat you out or sit on your face.