Gays Social Distancing? Bitch, Please! (Bitch, Please?!)

After all, coronavirus starts with a "C" and that rhymes with "P" and that stands for pool party!

Everyone’s life at one point in the past six months has been turned upside down due to the coronavirus pandemic. Hair salons closed. Restaurants closed. Gyms closed. You know what didn’t close, though? Grindr. Instagram. Pool parties. It would appear that the gays refused to give up summer 2020, regardless of the consequences.

It’s hard to understand why or how so many gay men have and continue to put their health and the health of others in peril just for attention and parties. The amount of “likes” they can rack up on social media are like oxygen; too much of the gay community thinks it needs these frivolous things to survive.

It’s quite possible that someone reading this may argue that when COVID-19 hit, everything shut down, including Pride celebrations across the world. That’s true: Quarantine orders were put into place, and as a result, Zoom became the new hot club, and sipping on vodka sodas at home became the new happy hour. Except these changes didn’t last long. In fact, they lasted about as long as Lindsay Lohan’s reality TV show(s).

Once summer arrived, numerous gay men seemed to throw caution to the wind, squeeze into a speedo (those who were disciplined enough not to gain the dreaded COVID 19 pounds), and make up for lost time. White Claws replaced toilet paper as the hottest accessory, and if you were lucky enough to have a pool open at your complex, you suddenly had new friends to entertain. Or maybe you were someone who hightailed it to the beach, where you less concerned with wearing a mask and staying six feet away from strangers, and more focused on being seen. After all, 90-plus-days locked away at home without a compliment from a rando will drive some men crazy. 

That’s right: In the gay community, the word “essential” had—and continues to have—a whole different meaning. 

Why is that? I fully understand that we’re dealing with difficult, unprecedented times. We’ve pretty much been in hell since March. Sure, boredom, loneliness, horniness, curiosity, and perhaps even a “the end of the world is here so let’s go out with a bang” mentality have all settled in. However, that doesn’t give anyone the right to become careless, reckless, selfish, or inconsiderate. 

Hell, there’s even an Instagram page completely dedicated to “Gays Over COVID.” As if this deadly virus is nothing more than a bad Katy Perry song. 

Allow me to be the first to say that partying isn’t essential. Attention isn’t essential. You know what is essential? Acting like a decent human being. Well, that and maybe those White Claws.

And, what’s the best part about acting like a decent human being? It takes relatively no energy, practice, or work. So let’s be decent! Whether or not this is truly the end of the world, we can all still be courteous of others. There will be plenty of opportunities in the future to drink, party, hook up, and act a fool… Or, you know, continue life as normal.

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