Dick Pic Nix—Why Do Porn Studios Release Photos of Their Models Making Those Faces?

NSFW: Two guys having sex should be hot, so why do so many production photos come across as bad satire of gay porn?

There’s just something about porn photography that feels… unintentionally hilarious.

We’ve already discussed the Glamour Shots that studios send out into the world as marketing for their new releases. But while those models are usually rock hard and dead eyed, they resort to some sort of manic manufactured coyness in the posed action shots that belies what they’re actually doing.

Maybe it’s the juxtaposition of the models’ cheery grins and throbbing dicks. Maybe it’s that they’re so frequently posed as if to say, “Why hello! Yes, it’s me, Adult Film Star. Looks like you’ve just caught me in the act of fellatio! What fun we’re all having!”

There’s an overwhelming cheeriness to the poses that is so far at odds with  the action being conveyed that the images become laughable. Part of that is the difference between intention and execution. If the production photos are intended to entice viewers by teasing how sexy and steamy these sexual encounters are, then the end result is… Well, not sexy or steamy or enticing. They feel like cheeky little missives, miles away from the action being portrayed. And too often, they seem to be commenting on the action, distancing the man from what he’s portrayed doing.

There’s a world of difference between being serious about sex and treating sex seriously. Yet somehow these photos accomplish neither: The sex here is jokey, as if the models are saying, “Isn’t this too funny? My dick is in his ass! That’s crazy!” And even worse, the sheer number of people who looked at these photos through their life stages and all said, “No notes!”

Frankly, the models deserve better treatment. And so do consumers. If Instagram thirst traps have taught us anything, it’s that sexy photos can be accomplished anywhere and by anyone. There’s no excuse for studios to not match that same level of quality.

“Whoa! How’d this big Black cock get in my hand lolz”

 

“Uh, I don’t know how my dick ended up in my step-dad! Where am I?”
“Oh hey—the crudités platter is on the patio. We’ll be out in a sec.”

1 Comment

  1. Thanks — I couldn’t agree more! Clearly, these productions are the result of significant work, and of course those involved want to rope in all the viewers they can. But, as you point out, the teasers they provide seem to promise corn-ball, pie-in-your-face comedy, it being a coincidence that the models are all sexually-aroused males who forgot about wearing their clothes. I’ve probably missed some pretty exciting stuff, but in this case, I can only judge the porn by its promo.

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