The Magical, Cartoon Dick of ‘John Dillermand’

Loosely translated to "John Penis-man," the children's series has already caused controversy for the candy cane–striped cock at the center of every plot.

If you had an enormous penis (and truthfully, if you’re reading The Gay Goods, you very well might!), what would you do with it?

You probably would not use it to start a career as a dog walker. But maybe it’s a Danish thing, because that is one of the many ways in which the title character of children’s cartoon John Dillermand uses his!

Of course, his animated cock resembles nothing so much as that scene in Beetlejuice when he turns into a snake on the banister, so it might be slightly unrealistic to play pretend. (And what in the world brand of underwear does he wear when he occasionally puts it away?) Nevertheless, there he is, brandishing a red-and-white-striped dick that Waldo would be proud to own. He also uses it to pick up things, to hold an ice cream cone, light a grill, and sail away on a collection of helium-filled balloons. Pretty normal cartoon stuff, except instead of gummiberry juice he has a magic schlong that looks like the world’s tallest barber pole.

Predictably, many people are appalled that a children’s show puts a penis front and center (though many more people are astounded that it exists). But at least here’s one international TV show that almost definitely won’t get a dumbed down American remake!

About Mark Durane More Articles
When he was a little boy, Mark's mother set the house on fire. (She was like that.) He'll never forget the look on his father's face as he gathered him up in his arms and raced through the burning building onto the pavement below. And he stood there, shivering in his pajamas, and watched the whole world go up in flames. And when it was all over, he said to himself, "Is that all there is to a fire?"

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