American artist Frank Frazetta, whose bold and hyper-realistic fantasy illustrations tricked many a youth from the 50s to the 80s into reading, has always been the go-to reference for what we now call, for better or worse, the “male power fantasy.” For straight kids, the female sorceress of little-to-no cloth draped around the ankles of a sweating, bloodied barbarian hero probably awakened more than a few thoughts within the imagination. And for the gay nerds, well, there was something in those pictures for them, too. The creators of The Frozen Kingdom know this so well they built an entire visual novel around the idea, in fact.
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I am not sure if it’s a compliment or a complaint that I was getting into Frozen Kingdom’s plot enough that, when gay sex finally did happen, it genuinely caught me off guard. Regardless, it’s a testament to its commitment to, and the love of, the genre. The best and worst thing one can say about The Frozen Kingdom is that it is exactly what it looks like.
Elinar has the body of a Greek God and the face of a Insta-Twink.
A Tried and True Plot
The Frozen Kingdom‘s story is not complex, nor does it need to be for what it wants to do. You are Elinar, a barbarian descendant of a bloodline that defeated an ancient, evil sorceress many generations prior. The sorceress’s own bloodline is set to avenge her death and conquer the world, and they start by attacking Elinar’s village to wipe out their fated rivals.
You can practically hear the dice rolling during its opening chapters, and unlike some other fantasy porn we’ve seen emerge in the visual novel genre over the past few years (for example, Dear Monster) there’s not a sense of irony or parody to be found here. It’s the gap between Dragonlance and Discworld, to make a dated reference.
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Frazetta’s Bodies and Yaoi’s Faces
If all of the above sounds good to you, there is one more thing that should be discussed before buying The Frozen Kingdom. A make-or-break decision of the artists in questions was to marry the bodybuilder, chilled power fantasy physique of Frazetta’s bodies with the dewy lipped smolder of modern anime. Every man in this world is a sex doll male model, which is perfect for porn but may undermine some of the darker moments in the story for some readers.
It didn’t for me, personally but even I recognized on the onset the difficulty of placing these faultless feminine faced men in a hardened medieval fantasy setting. It’s something I got over pretty quickly though. Everyone’s hot, and I cared about where the characters went, even if the story never really surprised me. If you’re looking for a simple, fun fantasy adventure that occasionally you might want to take a break to masturbate to, The Frozen Kingdom is probably the best and safest recommendation you will get this year. But, like more than a few of the Frazetta inspired novels that now line used book stores around the globe, I doubt it will be yours or anyone else’s favorite game.
PROS
- A completely fine and well-tested heroic fantasy tale
- A set of characters just interesting enough to move the plot forward
- Beautiful art for certain tastes (muscle pretty boys, specifically)
- Three unique endings and a surprising amount of choice along the way
CONS
- Frequently overwritten to a fault… much like the fantasy novels it mirrors, come to think of it
- There is some disconnect between the yaoi-esque pretty boys and the bloody story they inhabit
