The Wolf’s Den: Why Do Some Porn Fans Feel Compelled to Be Cruel in the Comments?

Before I was a porn producer, when I was a paying customer, none of the gay sites had comments enabled on updates. Then straight companies began becoming involved in gay sites, and that’s when you noticed that commenting was enabled, probably because they were using a website builder that automatically provided that feature. And once commenting was an option, that’s when you saw people really exploring that freedom. As we know from the rest of the Internet, when people feel safe in their anonymity, they will say things about people they’d never dream of saying to their faces.

That’s why Carnal Media doesn’t allow unmoderated comments on our updates. There’s no need to subject our models, who are putting their bodies on the line, to comments like whether or not one person thinks their smile is too toothy or if they have an orgasm face one person thinks is ugly. 

On Carnal sites, I didn’t want anything to take away from the fantasy experience, especially with comments that could be hurtful to a performer. Fans can (and do!) write in directly with suggestions and to tell us what they like or don’t like, and we appreciate them taking the time to give us constructive feedback. 

But comments directly beneath models having sex? I don’t feel like there’s any value there. The performers are doing something so intimate that it feels cruel to let people exercise their anonymity by being vicious. 

As a performer on social media, I feel like I’m lucky that the feedback I get there is overwhelmingly positive. I barely have time to look at my social media accounts or the comments, so I miss most of them. When I do notice the rare negative comment or reply, I don’t put a lot of stock in it. But I’m also fairly preoccupied with the task of running and growing Carnal Media as a business owner; for people who perform full-time and pour all their time and energy into their porn persona, those negative comments have the potential to really wear on them. 

Take Austin L. Young. He has scores of devoted fans, but every now and then someone feels the need to tell him he “shouldn’t be in porn,” or “Twinks are gross,” or “He looks too young to be a porn performer.” And Austin usually replies, “I am what I am, and I’m proud of how I look. I work hard to stay in shape and be healthy, but how I look was and is mostly a factor of my genetics. And I’m of legal age, I love my job and career, so please don’t contact me if you only have negative things to say.” I think that’s the right attitude. Because we have to remember: The people saying shitty things are very vocal, but they’re not the majority.

A good example in the world of gay porn are the affiliate blogs. So many of them are supportive of the industry, even if they have to take performers or studios to task every now and then. But the one that gets the most attention is Str8UpGayPorn, which traffics in this kind of sensationalized, moralistic tone that is mostly cynical trolling, hate baiting and propagation of falsehoods wrapped in vitriol meant to get clicks and traffic. It’s all done in a really tabloid-esque way under the pretense that he is just innocently calling out bad behavior. I think that site represents a very small number of porn consumers, which is why it makes so little money, but because it’s the only one engaging with the gay side of the porn industry from a critical standpoint, a lot of people see it. Whether or not a lot of people read it (or enjoy it) is another question. That’s important to remember, too: There aren’t more Str8UpGayPorns than people who feel positively about porn performers and the experience of porn. It’s just that the ones who enjoy drama give themselves a platform.

What separates porn trolls from regular online trolls, to my mind, is the nature of the attacks. In porn, they’re almost exclusively dedicated to appearance and masculinity—which are subjective! How many times has a video been released and you see comments talking about how effeminate or “faggy” a guy is? Have that opinion, OK, but why is that opinion so important that you open your computer, log in, write a comment, and then hit publish? What are you other than a bully? What are you accomplishing other than casual cruelty?

There is absolutely a place for questioning a studio’s casting decision if you think a model seems to betray their particular aesthetic. If you’ve subscribed to Bel Ami for years and they suddenly start using hairy muscle guys, that’s not what you signed up for. But that’s not the models’ fault; that begs the question of what Bel Ami’s intentions are. Will they move in a different direction? Are they trying something? Ask them; don’t attack the models. No models are putting themselves out there so you can heckle them. 

Do you walk up to people on the street and say, “You’re ugly”? You would never do that in person! And the same logic that people apply to porn no one would apply in real life. The defense is usually something like, “Well, he’s asking for this kind of feedback because he put himself out there by doing porn.” Which… is exactly what guys who catcall women on the street claim, too. “She walked out of her house dressed that way, so I’m entitled to do it.” Well, no. 

Imagine if these anonymous guys started walking up to models and saying, “You look like a washed-up meth addict.” I think we could anticipate maybe not getting a great reaction. But people feel very safe behind their online anonymity.

With all that, we’ve been very reluctant to allow comments on releases. But I’m happy to announce that, because we feel strongly about our community of fans, we will be launching a fan forum on Carnal Plus that will allow subscribers to be in touch with us and with one another. And if anyone goes on a personal hateful attack, they’ll be removed from the forum and we’ll continue on with our love of porn.

At the end of the day, some people feel compelled to say every nasty thing that pops into their minds. If you have Tourettes’s, get a doctor’s note. Otherwise, you have no excuse.

Legrand Wolf is the owner and CEO of Carnal Media and publisher of The Gay Goods.

The Gay Goods is dedicated to engaging with a range of opinions and viewpoints. To share yours, email [email protected].