It used to be simple. A guy’s dating profile had either a gym selfie, a heavily filtered beach thirst trap, or if he was feeling mysterious a blurry black-and-white pic that screamed “I personally believe that some people out there don’t have maps”. But now what? Now we’re swiping through AI-generated avatars that look like they belong in a Studio Ghibli, Marvel or Pixar reboot.

One day, your crush is a well-lit selfie with big bulge. The next, he’s an Inside Out hot dad multiverse protagonist with a chiseled jawline, perfect skin, and penetrating eyes that have been enhanced by artificial intelligence. And suddenly, the whole grid is filled with men who look like they just stepped out of video games from God of War to Final Sexy Fantasy.

At first, it’s amusing. Cute, even. Who wouldn’t want to see themselves as a hotter, more symmetrical, digitally perfected version? It’s like the ultimate glow-up (without the gym membership or the stress of getting caught sucking dicks in the bathroom). But then you start seeing these AI creations popping up in actual dating profiles, and that’s when the existential crisis kicks in:

Are we just catfishing ourselves now?

Who am I kidding?

Traditionally, catfishing meant using someone else’s photos to fool potential dates. But now, we’ve entered a strange new era where we’re catfishing… ourselves. We’re not pretending to be someone else, we’re pretending to be a version of ourselves that never actually existed.

Let’s be real, the AI is generous. It doesn’t just tweak, it transforms. It erases wrinkles, chisels cheekbones, tone the abs, adds that subtle yet impossible “Disney prince smolder.” What’s left is an idealized version of you that’s just real enough to pass but just fake enough to be psychologically challenging. It’s not deception, per se… it’s aspiration. But where do we draw the line?

Because let’s face it: eventually, the fantasy meets reality. You match with a guy whose profile pic looks like an anime hot guy. He shows up looking… human. And suddenly real life feels like a disappointment.

Gay Men, perfection, and the AI problem

The gay community has always been fluent in the language of aesthetic perfection (and thirst traps). We know our angles. We understand the power of good lighting. We have collectively agreed that FaceTune is dirty secret weapon, but we swear we don’t use it (of course). But AI takes it a step further, it doesn’t just refine, it reinvents.

And that’s where it gets messy. Because if we get too comfortable seeing ourselves in this impossibly enhanced way, what happens when we have to face the reality? Does our mirror start feeling… unkind? Do our selfies suddenly look wrong?

We already live in a culture where the pursuit of physical perfection is basically a competitive sport. And now, we’re introducing a new standard that’s entirely unattainable, because it’s not even us anymore. It’s a fantasy, one that we created and then tried to believe in. I mean, do I have to compete with a Pokemon on steroids?”

So, are we okay? Or are we just delusional?

Maybe I’m overthinking it. Maybe it’s just a bit of fun. Maybe AI avatars are just the 2025 equivalent of the side-swept emo bangs? (something we’ll cringe at in a few years)

Well, when I see another AI-polished, video-game-ready, hyper-masculine fuckable cartoon man staring at me from a dating profile, it makes me wonder…

At what point do we stop flirting with each other and start flirting with our own delusions?